My new pup swallowed a whole cantaloupe in one gulp. Since then, he’s been a little melon-collie.

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I have a quantum mechanic...He both repairs and doesn’t repair my car at the same time, and I can never be certain of what the charge will be.

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A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.

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A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men: One was sitting under a tree reading a book…

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“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” - Isaac Asimov

Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more.

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A man has been drinking at a pub all night. When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face.

Enjoy this cartoon and have a laugh.

Enjoy these cartoons and have a laugh.

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood. I guess they didn’t want me to use crayon.

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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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