Why did the vampire quit the newspaper?
The deadlines kept draining him.
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A few fun Halloween jokes
Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with.
Funny Business: Singing in the shower
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
Funny Business: Three Farmers and the Heat
Three farmers sitting outside the coffee shop in August, arguing about whose land got it worse. The first one says it got so hot on his place last week that his hens laid hard boiled eggs.
Funny Business: Take the summer off
Why did the espresso machine take the summer off? It was totally burnt out.
Funny Business: Self-propelled lawn mower
A man proudly told his neighbour, “I finally bought one of those self-propelled lawn mowers.” “How do you like it?” “It’s fantastic.” “It saves you that much work?”
Funny Business: Scarecrow Wins Award
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.