Funny Business: A guy walks into a specialty coffee shop

• Why do coffee lovers make terrible lifeguards in summer? They only know how to save people who are already steaming.

• What did the iced coffee say to the hot coffee in July? “You need to chill.

• What’s a barista’s favorite summer workout? Running cold brew laps.

• A guy walks into a specialty coffee shop on the hottest day of the year, sweating through his shirt, and orders the biggest iced coffee that they make. He takes one sip, sighs, and says, “You know, I gave up hot coffee for the whole summer. Cold brew only. My doctor said I needed to lower my blood pressure.” The barista nods and says, “How’s that going?” The guy wipes his forehead and says, “Great, until I saw the price of iced coffee. Now I’m back to being steamed.”

• Two regulars are sitting on the patio in July, arguing about the best way to stay cool. The first one says, “Simple. I drink one iced coffee every hour, all day. Keeps me chilled from the inside out.” The second one frowns and says, “That can’t be good for you. How many is that?” The first guy counts on his fingers, thinks hard, and finally says, “Well, I started at 7 this morning.” The second guy waits. And waits. Then he realizes his friend hasn’t answered because he’s now vibrating too fast to speak. So he leans over, pats him on the shoulder, and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll get the next round. You’ve clearly bean through enough.”