Funny Business: Scarecrow Wins Award
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
The Fishing Trip
Three friends went fishing on the lake for the weekend.
The first fellow opened his cooler and pulled out a steak.
The second one unpacked a full barbecue, complete with propane tank.
The third guy opened his tackle box and took out a loaf of bread.
The others looked at him.
“That’s your lunch?”
“No,” he replied. “That’s my bait.”
“You catch fish with bread?”
“No.”
“Then why bring it?”
“Because every time I use worms, I catch fish. Every time I catch fish, my wife says, ‘Well, now you have to clean them.’”
“So?”
“So today I’m hoping to catch ducks.”
The Mosquitoes
A tourist stopped at a prairie campground and asked the campground manager, “Are the mosquitoes bad here?”
The manager smiled.
“Not really.”
Relieved, the tourist set up his tent.
That evening he came running back to the office covered in bites.
“I thought you said the mosquitoes weren’t bad!”
“They aren’t.”
“What do you call this?”
“Those are the polite ones.”
“The polite ones?”
“Yes. Around here they always wait until you’ve finished setting up camp.”