Funny Business: Self-propelled lawn mower
A man proudly told his neighbour,
“I finally bought one of those self-propelled lawn mowers.”
“How do you like it?”
“It’s fantastic.”
“It saves you that much work?”
“Oh yes.”
“How long does it take you to mow now?”
“About three hours.”
“I thought you said it was faster.”
“It is.”
“So why three hours?”
“I spend the first two hours trying to catch it.”
A grandfather was enjoying a giant ice cream cone when his granddaughter asked,
“Grandpa, does ice cream make you live longer?”
“I believe it does.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve never met anyone who was 100 years old and didn’t like ice cream.”
A father was teaching his son how to paddle a canoe.
“Rule number one,” he said, “always paddle together.”
“Got it.”
“Rule number two, don’t rock the canoe.”
“Okay.”
“Rule number three, if the canoe tips over, stay calm.”
The boy nodded confidently.
Five minutes later they were both floating in the lake.
The son shouted,
“Dad! Which rule are we on now?”
“The swimming lesson.”