Funny Business: The Secret to Great Golf
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
My doctor told me I need to watch my drinking. Now I golf with a cart so I can keep an eye on my beer.
Golf is the only sport where the objective is to play as little as possible and still call it exercise.
What do you call a wizard who’s great at golf? Harry Putter.
A golfer walks into the clubhouse and tells the bartender, “I just made the shot of my life. Drove it 300 yards, bounced off a cart path, hit a tree, rolled across the green, and dropped right in the cup.” The bartender says, “A hole in one?” The golfer says, “No, a seven. But it looked amazing.”
I asked my wife if she wanted to come watch me golf. She said she’d rather watch paint dry. I said, “Same pace, honestly.”
The secret to great golf? Keep your head down, your backswing smooth, and your scorecard away from your playing partners.
Golf tip: yell “Fore!” before your shot. It won’t help your game, but your playing partners will at least see it coming.