Funny Business: Melon-collie

  • My new pup swallowed a whole cantaloupe in one gulp. Since then, he’s been a little melon-collie.

  • I wish I could find out what happened to my neighbour who couldn’t pay his mortgage. You know, for closure.

  • I was horrible in school. I failed math so many times, I can’t even count.

  • Just went to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask. I asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?” She said “I’m not. It’s a coughy filter.”

  • If someone unearths a source of untold power then it is a discovery. If someone is not told about an unearthed power source, it is a shock.

  • It’s tough finding journalists qualified to report on rhythm sections. They need to cover all the basses and can’t miss a beat.

  • When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

  • My friend wouldn’t stop ranting about his idea for a countertop factory. Honestly, I thought it was all counter-productive.

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Go Figure! October 2

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Magic Maze: Have a Burger