Golfing Realities

• Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more.

• A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

• It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

• When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 a.m. to mow the lawn?

• It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

• Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.

• A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you.

• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.