Item: My Toenail Clippings – 31 inches long. Description: These clipping were done by my teeth about an hour ago…

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, and measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.

You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

Why do Canadians have a hard water problem? It’s frozen most of the year!

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You may live in Canada.

Seventy year old Myrtle wakes up one morning and says to her husband: “Joe I Think I’m dead.”

Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. Bandage left thumb.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

Existence was so tranquil and peaceful for the young couple Adam and Eve, like straight out of a story book, until one unfortunate day when Adam showed up one hour late for supper.

Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid.