Lots of PUN: The Matrix

  • Keanu Reeves was offered the lead role in Wild Wild West, but turned it down to do The Matrix. He really dodged a bullet there.

  • The manual says that we should not turn the stereo up to full volume. That’s sound advice.

  • A computer engineer attempted flirting with a waitress, but failed miserably. You might say there was an error connecting to the server.

  • A lady approached me and said, “Every time you smile, I want to give you my number!” At first I thought she was flirting, but it turns out she’s a dentist.

  • On my walk yesterday, I fell into a hole full of water. In my defense, I couldn’t see that well.

  • Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

  • All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. At first it’s boring, then it’s riveting.

  • My sister got fired from the hot dog stand. She wasn’t supposed to put her hair in a bun.

  • You can’t trust deli sandwiches. They’re full of bologna.

  • Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He must have been a little annoyed, I guess, because he kept asking, “can’t you just use a sponge?”

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Salome's Stars: July 10