Halloween HA-HAs
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Casketball.
What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein.
What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? A trombone.
What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets.
Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation.
Why don’t mummies go on vacation? They are afraid that they might relax and unwind.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.
Where did the goblin throw the football? Over the ghoul line.
What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas-scare-a.
Whom did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
Why do witches think they’re funny? Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train home? He had to give it back.
How can you send mail to skeletons? Bony Express
Why did Dracula break up with his sweetie? She wasn’t his blood type.
Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.
How did the ghost repair his sheet? With a pumpkin patch.
Why did the doctor tell the zombie to get some rest? He was dead on his feet.