Funny Business: Three Farmers and the Heat

The Fishing Boat

A man in his sixties finally buys the boat he’d been talking about since 1987. Twenty-two feet, new motor, fish finder, the works. First Saturday out he’s on the lake from six in the morning until dark. Comes home sunburned and empty handed.

Next weekend, same thing. Nothing. Weekend after that, nothing again.

Fourth Saturday he walks in the door holding one walleye. His wife is thrilled. She says that’s wonderful, look at that, all that patience finally paid off.

He looks at the fish for a long minute and says, “Do you know what this thing cost me? Boat, trailer, insurance, gas, licence, tackle. Works out to about four thousand dollars a pound.”

She says, “Well then thank goodness you only caught the one.”

Three Farmers and the Heat

Three farmers sitting outside the coffee shop in August, arguing about whose land got it worse.

The first one says it got so hot on his place last week that his hens laid hard boiled eggs. Right in the nest. Peeled and ready.

The second one says that’s nothing. Says it got so hot on his quarter that the corn started popping right on the stalk. Whole field went white in about ten minutes. Cattle looked over the fence, figured it was a blizzard, and laid down and froze to death.

The third fellow hasn’t said a word. The other two finally ask him how bad it got out his way.

He takes a sip of coffee and says, “About the same. Only difference is I had a hailstorm Thursday, frost Friday morning, and it’s supposed to snow Tuesday.”

The first two nod. Nobody argues. That’s Saskatchewan.