Funny Business: The difference was staggering

• Went to the bar tonight. Good times. Only a 15-minute walk. But the walk home took 45 minutes, the difference was staggering.

• I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

• I used to play piano by ear, but I always struggled with it until my friend pointed out that it would be easier to use my hands.

• Did you hear the joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tear-able.

• I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

• Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way, and I should have left him in the garden.

• Have you heard of the new sport called quiet tennis? It’s like normal tennis, but without the racket.

• I told my doctor I could only hear buzzing. He said don’t worry, it’s just a bug going around.

• Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the beer store, and I’m scared it will be closed.

• My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she’s preparing some kind of barbie queue.

• My friend fell down a well. I guess he couldn’t see that well.