Funny Business: Thanksgiving Jokes

  • The local restaurant served overcooked turkey, lumpy gravy, and cold mashed potatoes. What did they advertise it as? The Blooperplate Special.

  • Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up? ‘Cause they wear their belts on their hats.

  • What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

  • What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!

  • What is the Turkey’s favorite black tie celebration? The Butter Ball.

  • What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda? A turkey sand-witch.

  • What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.

  • What’s the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? “All About That Baste.”

  • Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.

  • Why do turkeys eat so little? Because they are always stuffed.

  • Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.

  • What key has legs and can’t open doors? Tur-key.

  • What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble.

  • What is Alan Alda’s favorite Thanksgiving food? M*A*S*Hed potatoes.

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