Funny Business: Oil Tycoon
George has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it.
So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.
A few weeks later, George’s former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the mall, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful.
“Doc!” George says, “It’s amazing! I’m cured!”
“That’s great news!” the psychoanalyst says. “you seem to be doing much better. How?”
“I went to see another doctor,” George says enthusiastically, “and he cured me in just ONE session!”
“One?!” the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.
“Yeah,” continues George, “my new doctor is a behaviorist.”
“A behaviorist?” the psychoanalyst asks. “How did he cure you in one session?”
“Oh, easy,” says George. “He told me to cut the legs off of my bed.”
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A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil.
The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, “Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a wall of solid gold 100 feet tall and 100 feet wide all the way around the state of Texas.”
The Texas Oil Tycoon scratched his chin and adjusted his cowboy hat and said, “Well boy, I’ll tell ya what....you just go ahead and build that wall, and if I like it.......I’ll buy it”.
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A man walked into the office in a school.
“Excuse me,” he said to the secretary, “I would like to come to school. I want to learn to read and write.”
“Okay,” the secretary responded in a bored voice, “just fill out this form...”
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“Mom, can I have an animal cracker?” asked 5 year old Bob.
“Sure, Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.” Forty five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen.
“Bob, why’d you spill out all of the animal crackers, and what are you looking for?”
“It said on the box not to eat it if the seal is broken,” Bob replied, “I spilled out the whole box, I looked through all of the animals, but I can’t find any seals!”
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Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
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I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site. But when I got home, all the signs were there.