Funny Business: Jokes from the Animal Kingdom

• Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.

• Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.

• What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? Shear madness.

• What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? Itenticle.

• Where do animals go when they lose a tail? To the retail store.

• Why is a bee’s hair always sticky? Because it uses a honey comb.

• Why are fish so good at watching their weight? Because they have lots of scales.

• Who makes dinosaur clothes? A dino-sewer.

• Why don’t bears wear shoes? What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet.

• What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.

• Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

• What do you call a cow in a tornado? A milkshake.

• How does a dog stop a video? He presses the paws button.

• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

• What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.

• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

• What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.

• What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.

• Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.

• Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn the alphabet? Because he always got lost at “C.”

• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.