Funny Business: Golf and Funeral

Two old men are out on the golf course one morning playing their usual round of golf when a funeral procession comes down the street next to the green on which they are putting. One of the old men notices the procession and immediately stops in the middle of his putt. He calmly steps away from his ball, removes his cap, and bows his head in silence as the procession passes by. The other old man is amazed at his friend’s reverence for the deceased. “That was truly one of the most touching and thoughtful acts I’ve ever seen from you”, he says.

“Well, I figure it’s the least I could do. After all, we *were* married for 42 years.”

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An elderly couple are in church. The wife turns to the husband and says “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

The husband says, “put new batteries in your hearing aid.”

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Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and asks, “Is this Whiskey?”  Elmer says, “Yes, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank!”