Funny Business: A Rome Ants Novel

• My kid asked me “what’s a forklift?” I said, “your food, usually.”

• I found a great website online to order sausages. I’ll send you a link.

• I’ve been reading a book about two insects who fell in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

• Three tons of hair was stolen from the wig factory. The police are combing the area.

• I went to the zoo the other day and there was a baguette in one of the cages. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

• I asked the librarian if they had the book about Pavlov’s dog and Schrodinger’s cat. They said it rang a bell, but couldn’t determine if it was there or not.

• 90% of bald people still own a comb. They just can’t part with them.

• I was so confused yesterday when I thought the printer was making music. It was just the paper jamming.

• My goal is to learn to tell jokes in sign language. That way I can guarantee no one has ever heard them before.

• The person who invented the ferris wheel never met the person who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

• You used to be able to get air for free at gas stations, but now it’s $1. That’s inflation for you.