Funny Business: 10 pork chops
A man decides to buy two horses. When he brought them home he realized he needed some way to tell them apart. So he called his neighbour to help out.
The neighbor said, “You know, you could just snip a little bit of one horse’s tail and leave the other one’s intact, that way you can tell them apart by the length of the tail”.
The man liked that idea and he took some scissors and snipped a bit of the first horse’s tail. But the horse recoiled in pain and in a frenzy bit off the tip of the second horse’s tail. Now they both had shortened tails.
The two men looked and the neighbour got another idea: “If you just snip a bit of the first one’s ear, you could tell them apart that way”. So, the man took his scissors and snipped a little part of the first horse’s left ear but of course he began thrashing around and in a frenzy bit off a small part of the other horse’s left ear. The two men were really annoyed, but they wouldn’t give up. “Alright, do the other ear, you could still tell them apart that way”. But sure as heck, as the man snipped the first horse’s other ear, he thrashed around in pain and bit off a bit of the second horse’s ear. They now both had snipped ears and tail.
As the two men looked intensely for ideas, the neighbour said: “Well, you know, I think you could tell them apart by height. The brown one is a bit taller than the white one”.
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As a butcher is shooing away a dog from his shop, he sees a $25 bill and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 pork chops, please.”
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of pork chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.
When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” bell, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -WHAP!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog.
The butcher runs up and screams at the guy: “What the heck are you doing? This dog’s a genius!” The owner responds, “Oh, you’d think! But it’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys!”