Well, that’s embarrassing…

By Kate Winquist

Well, that’s embarrassing.

Apparently, I have absolutely no idea what weekend it is.

For the past few days, I’ve been happily telling people to “Have a great long weekend!” I’ve put it in emails. I’ve said it in texts. I may have even said it to people in person.

You know, spreading a little Labour Day weekend cheer wherever I go.

There was just one small problem.

Labour Day weekend isn’t until NEXT weekend.

Who knew?

Certainly not me.

In my defence, my summer student, Evan, thought it was the long weekend too. Classes at the University of Alberta don’t start until Tuesday, so naturally he assumed Monday must be Labour Day.

And I believed him.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I didn’t ask him. We were both just wandering around the office independently believing the same incorrect thing, which somehow makes me feel better about the whole situation.

Misery loves company. Apparently, so does confusion.

I probably would have continued living happily in my imaginary long weekend if I hadn’t remembered that my house insurance, package policy and a couple of vehicle registrations were all due Aug. 31.

Which, as everyone knows, is a holiday.

Except this year.

Because Aug. 31 is a Monday and Labour Day is Sept. 7.

This little revelation came courtesy of my insurance agent.

I had gone in to renew everything, slightly concerned about the looming holiday deadline. Somewhere in the conversation, I mentioned that I needed to get everything looked after because Monday was a holiday.

She assured me they would be open Monday.

“Oh, you’re open on the holiday?”

There may have been a slight pause.

They were also going to be open Saturday, she told me.

Well.

That seemed like an awful lot of dedication for a long weekend.

And then the penny dropped.

There. Is. No. Long. Weekend.

I had invented it.

Apparently, I have reached the stage of summer where dates have lost all meaning. July disappeared in about 15 minutes, August lasted roughly three days and now I’m just assigning statutory holidays wherever I think they belong.

Frankly, I think the last weekend of August should be a long weekend. Summer is ending. The evenings are getting shorter. Harvest is underway. Kids are heading back to school. We could all use an extra Monday.

But nobody asked me.

So, despite what I may have told you in an email, text message or casual conversation this week, please disregard my previous instructions to enjoy your long weekend.

It’s just a regular weekend.

And don’t mind me.

I’ll be working Saturday.

I’ll be working Monday.

And NEXT Friday, when I tell everyone to have a great long weekend, I’m checking the calendar first.

Probably.

Until then, enjoy your weekend — no matter how lengthy it is.