Sunny Side Up: Got some skeletons in your closets? Let them teach you
By Kathleen Gibson
Our family closets, perhaps yours too, are stuffed with musty old skeletons—proverbially speaking.
We started talking about family over supper the other night, just the Preacher and I. As we traced the generational lines on both sides, right up to ourselves, we recalled a few stories we rarely mention anymore. Perhaps the conversational door opened too wide, but suddenly, there they were, glowering over our garden-fresh tomatoes, carrot sticks and cabbage. (We eat light, at supper.) Generations of skeletons, some at least a century old.
Your skeletons may have different names. There are many. Adultery. Abandonment. Abuse. Addiction. Betrayal. Crime. Incest. Immorality. Forbidden secrets. Hypocrisy. Neglect. Actions and attitudes that have, each in their own way, resonated through the years, influencing the generations that follow.
We discussed somewhat slowly, chewing our food longer than necessary before speaking. Asking unanswerable questions, skirting with caution those with answers we know, but hate. Because who really wants to talk about skeletons anyway? Back and forth between us they skulked, our unintended dinner guests, rattling their marrowless bones and leering. Sightless eyes, vacant and black. Stealing our appetites.
What do you do with skeletons? Hushed tales of disrepute that follow a family for decades, dragged like burlap-wrapped bodies behind a weary horse. Could there be any benefit to unwrapping those burdens, inspecting them, then stuffing them back into their closets. Never forgotten, never gone. Often taking up too much space in our minds.
Along with a multitude of other biblical characters, the apostle Paul had a few skeletons in his own closet. Murder, for one. As a converted follower of Jesus, he provides free lessons on what to do with ours. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, he instructs us to take our thoughts captive. In Romans, he tells believers to allow the mind of Jesus to shape their own minds. Those instructions include whatever our brains insist on dwelling on, including the skeletons we drag behind us.
I’ve learned to think about our skeletons differently. Rather than dismiss them without thought, even the most awful and shameful family secrets can become our teachers. Some show us better ways to live; warning of sinful traps to avoid and the consequences of not doing so. Some help us understand, even forgive, that bitter old person we’ve never liked or understood (even when that person is oneself). Others remind us to pay more attention to life’s truly important things. Still others show us the necessity of loving rather than judging. And a few can help us understand ourselves and our family better. Make us sweeter people, capable, with God’s help of intentionally walking better, higher roads than those which generated so many of those closet skeletons.
Got some skeletons in your closet? Perhaps it’s time to allow them to teach you, rather than shame you.
Sunny Side Up has inspired readers with glimpses of everyday life and Christian faith since 2001. Contact Kathleen at sunnysideup.press@gmail.com
