Rodeo Humour: The Glidden Bull Sale

The Highway 21 Cowboy

A fella from Calgary pulls into the Co-op in Kindersley driving a brand new three-quarter ton, chrome everywhere, not a speck of dust on it. He walks into the coffee shop and announces to the room he's looking to buy a quarter section to "experience the real prairie."

An old rancher at the corner table looks up from his coffee. "Whereabouts you thinking?"

City fella says, "Somewhere with a view. Big sky. Wide open. The works."

Rancher nods. "Son, you're in Kindersley. Step outside and pick a direction. They all got a view, and they're all the same one."

City fella laughs. "Well what would you recommend?"

Rancher says, "I'd recommend you wash that truck again before you drive home. First gravel road's gonna undo about forty grand of your decisions.”

The Glidden Bull Sale

Two ranchers from out near Glidden are standing at a bull sale, watching the auction. A big Black Angus comes through the ring and goes for serious money. One rancher whistles low.

"That's a lot of bull for the money," he says.

Other one nods. "Or a lot of money for the bull. Depends which end of the cheque you're on."

First rancher says, "You ever buy one that good?"

"Once. Back in '88. Paid more than I told my wife, brought him home, turned him out with the cows, and that bull just stood there. Wouldn't look at a one of 'em. Three weeks, nothing."

"What'd you do?"

"Called the vet. Vet comes out, checks him over, gives him a shot of something. Next morning that bull was through the fence, bred forty cows, two of the neighbour's, and a lawn ornament."

First rancher says, "What was in the shot?"

"I don't know. But I keep the bottle on my night table. Just in case.”

The Kindersley Rodeo Announcer

A new announcer shows up at the Kindersley rodeo, fresh from somewhere down east. Real polished voice, big vocabulary, the whole package. He's calling the bareback and he's laying it on thick.

"And here comes Tyler out of chute number three on a magnificent equine specimen, a true testament to the indomitable spirit of the Canadian prairie."

Tyler gets bucked off in 2.1 seconds. Lands hard. Limps to the fence.

Announcer keeps going. "A valiant effort by our young competitor. The bronc emerges victorious in this contest of wills between man and beast."

Old timer in the stands leans over to his buddy. "What'd he say?"

Buddy says, "Tyler got piled."

Old timer nods. "Why didn't he just say that?"

Buddy says, "He's from Toronto. They charge by the syllable."