REMEMBERING WHEN: Grandma’s “practical” Christmas gifts
By Keith Schell
Christmas is always an exciting time for little kids, and growing up, we were certainly no different. The yuletide joy and anticipation in our family leading up to Christmas morning each December was palpable—it could be felt throughout the house.
When Christmas morning finally arrived, we kids could barely contain our excitement! But once everyone was up, Mom always insisted we eat breakfast together as a family before opening any gifts. On those mornings, we never ate so fast in all our lives!
With breakfast finally over, we’d rush into the living room to start opening presents. Of course, discovering what we got was always the most thrilling part of Christmas morning.
But there was always one gift we dreaded receiving every year, no matter how loving or well-meaning it might have been.
And that gift was the clothing item from Grandma.
It’s not that we didn’t love our grandma dearly—we absolutely did. But she had lived through the Depression, and the poverty and hardship of that time shaped her attitudes for the rest of her life. Because of those hardscrabble years, every Christmas gift she ever gave her grandkids had to be “practical” and useful, rather than fun.
Grandma liked to knit, and her practical Christmas gifts to us grandkids were usually her own handmade woolen socks and mittens, usually made from the itchiest wool she could find! But sometimes, if she spotted a toque or sweater on a good sale in a store’s clothing department, she’d pick up a bunch for her grandkids and stash them away for Christmas. The problem was, most of those items were usually on sale because no kid would ever be caught dead wearing them! And most of the time, Grandma didn’t realize how much we’d grown and often misjudged the size of whatever clothing item she gave us each year.
God knows we loved our grandma and she meant well, but the clothing items she gave us for Christmas each year were almost always too big, too small, too itchy, or too ugly!
After I opened Grandma’s dreaded Christmas gift and saw what it was, Mom’s practical side would kick in. She always said the same things to me every year:
If the gift was too big, she usually said, “You’ll grow into it” (Rats!). If the gift was too small, she usually said, “Maybe your brothers can wear it” (a lucky break for me, but not so much for my little brothers). If the gift was too itchy, she usually said, “You can wear something underneath it, so it won’t itch.” And if the gift was too ugly, she usually said, “At least wear it around Grandma so you won’t hurt her feelings.”
Mercifully, the clothing gift I always got from Grandma was usually too small. But sometimes—horror of horrors—it actually fit! The trouble with that was, Mom might do the unthinkable and actually make you wear it to school! And if you wore something that uncool on the playground at recess, you risked getting beat up by the bigger kids—or at the very least, being severely razzed by your own friends.
So, you’d try your best to keep the uncool item out of sight on the playground under your jacket, and if you were lucky, you’d usually get by.
To avoid the embarrassment, some kids would “accidentally-on-purpose” try to lose the item on the playground. But an eagle-eyed teacher who saw you wearing it at the start of recess would tell you to pick it up and bring it back with you to class. And if you were ever lucky enough to lose it forever, you might still be forced to reclaim it on “lost and found” day at the end of the school year—especially if it had your name tag sewed in the collar.
When my youngest brother got married and had kids, my little niece and nephew had no idea how lucky they were to have our mom as their grandma. She was a cool and enlightened grandma and usually gave her grandkids things they actually wanted for Christmas—rather than things she thought they needed.
Though always given with good intentions, Grandma’s practical Christmas gifts were usually disappointing to us as kids. But that didn’t mean we didn’t love her dearly. When she knew we were coming to visit, she’d bake giant sugar cookies the size of pot lids just for us! She saved the Sunday colour funnies from the newspapers for us to read and did all kinds of other endearing “Grandma” things to show how much we meant to her.
And she always tucked a dollar or two into our birthday cards to help make up for her Christmas gifts—and that was a lot of money back then! So, all in all, we have very fond and happy memories of her being a pretty good Grandma, despite her dreaded but well-meaning Christmas gifts. I smile at the memory now.
To all the other kids out there—both past and present—who have had to endure their grandma’s “practical” Christmas gifts over the years: have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!