Just A Gal From Glidden: Four Sage and counting

By Kate Winquist

I spent a few days on "holidays" over the past couple of weeks. I put the word in quotes because, as a business owner with pretty severe ADHD, I can't ever seem to sit still.

I started with the bookkeeping. "A few hours," I told myself. It turned into a day and a half.

The trouble is that when I'm not under a deadline, my mind wanders. And wandering leads to Google.

Over the past two days, I’ve searched things like What’s the best way to stay cool when it’s hot outside? and Why can’t I fall asleep even when I’m dog tired?

The answer explained that my body and brain are apparently running on two different systems that have fallen out of sync.

Very helpful.

My own solution to the heat was a few cold pops and an air-conditioned house, which I suspect I could have figured out without the internet.

Then came the burst of energy.

If you have ADHD, you know the one.

I washed every closet and cupboard door in the house. Then, feeling particularly ambitious, I decided to organize the spice cupboard.

I'm convinced nobody has touched that cupboard since we moved in two years ago. Here's how I know.

I cook a turkey twice a year. Turkey means dressing. Dressing means buying sage and thyme.

Apparently, every November I stand in front of that cupboard, fail to notice the three containers already sitting there, and confidently buy another one.

The final tally? Four containers of sage. Four containers of thyme. Three bottles of Montreal Steak Spice, each with a different amount left in it. Two and a half bottles of bacon bits. Two bottles and two bags of bay leaves … and a partridge in a pear tree.

I briefly considered renting that corner at the Co-op, the spot where the Hutterites set up their vegetable stand, and going into the spice business.

Feeling unstoppable, I moved on to the freezer, this time with an actual purpose. I was looking for supper.

Instead, I discovered a box of Captain High Liner fish fillets and several bags of McCain crinkle-cut fries. Three of those bags were already open. One was brand new.

Twenty-five minutes later, supper was served.

Robert sat down and asked for the tartar sauce.

I was certain we had some in the fridge.

We did not.

What we did have was three bottles of Caesar salad dressing, two bottles of soya sauce, three different kinds of mustard, and enough jars of assorted pickles to supply a midnight lunch at a wedding.

It's no wonder the fridge always looks full.

Robert ate his fish with ketchup. He didn't say a word about it, which is how I knew it had been noted.

I still haven't opened the pantry. I'm not emotionally prepared to find out how many cans of cream corn are hiding in there.

Maybe that's the thing about ADHD. We don't always lose things. Sometimes we just buy them again because our brains have quietly filed the originals under 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind.'

As for holidays, I've decided they're overrated. Give me a deadline, some newspapers to put together and a little pressure, and somehow I'm far more organized than I ever am with unlimited free time.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have one more thing to Google.

"How long does dried sage actually last?”

Turns out it's 1-3 years, if you store it right. So I should be set for a while.